GOD...what's that all about then??

[fad]

I've just been praying to God for a few things and apparently it didn't work!!! I'm neither a millionaire nor have I suddenly aquired the skills of Bruce Lee. So what the Jesus-fucking-hell is that all about (and who can I sue)??
Comments anyone?

[Blink]

Lack of belief, your god does not have enough believers at the moment, go convert some more, soon he will be all-powerful

(Just reading Small Gods - Terry Pratchett)

[Flux]

Fad, I think you're getting God & Genies mixed up again mate...
You haven't been buffing God's lamp too have you? ;)

[SP]

Sue the Pope ... he's the one making alot of false claims & he's a twat!!

[Rivetmike]

If I were you I'd try to get in there a bit sharpish though as I don't think the poor fella is too long for our world..............bless.

Rivetmike

[Sin-RazorAngel]

You ever seen the film Devil's Advocate??
There's this rant Al Pacino does about god....which i feel sums god up BEAUTIFULLY :twisted:

[alicethegoon]

To quote Bart Simpson;

"God schmod, I want my monkey man!"

[fad]

Praying to 'monkey-man' it is then, this God bloke (aka Tetragrammaton apparently) appears a; Not to be very good at anything, b; Not really paying much attention to us and c; not to actually exist!!!
Imagine my surprise!! And here's the shock bit...apparently Satan's a load of made up old bollocks too!!!?? Who would have imagined....

PS..Isn't the Pope a robot then??

PPS.. Magic is also a load of made up crap, for those who were wondering...and don't argue about it, it just makes you look childish.

PPPs Guess which side of the bed I got out of this morning? There's a prize for the first person to answer correctly.

[Sin-RazorAngel]

in answer to the which side of bed thingy,it all depends on which way you were laying and also which way the person would be looking at you as you got out of bed :P
Only then can we answer that

[Rivetmike]

You ever seen the film Devil's Advocate??
There's this rant Al Pacino does about god....which i feel sums god up BEAUTIFULLY :twisted:

Which can be heard to great effect on the track "Never Worship" by VAC.

Rivetmike

[fad]

I'll settle for the east/west alignment.

[Flux]

How can you say there's no such thing as magic? What about Monkey Magic?!

The nature of Monkey was irrepressible! Monkeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey! :D

[Blink]

Ahhh, pigsey

[Sin-RazorAngel]

AND the Magic Roundabout

[fad]

AND the Magic Roundabout
...that's just a thinly disguised acid-trip, Sin!!!

[Sin-RazorAngel]

tisn't the tooth fairie told me that it was indeed real and if i was a weally good girl then maybe one day she'd take me to sit under a tree to sing a song wiv dillon

[Lamia]

GOD- hmm....*tries to think of big speech*
AHA!!!! GOD GAVE ROCK AND ROOOLL TO YOU, GAVE ROCK AND ROLLL TO YOU, GAVE ROCK AND ROO-OOLL TO EVERYONE *drum bit*
i know life sometimes can get tough, and I know life sometimes can be a drag. But people, we have been given a gift, we have been given a role, and that role's name is:
ROCK AND ROOOOOO-OOO-O-O-OOOO-OOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

[bezerkangel]

I wish someone would give me a roll.

I'm starving.

[Skylizard]

"I swear by the many arms of my lord Rishnu i am not a Hindu" Apooh

[Rivetmike]

I wish someone would give me a roll.



joke too obvious even for me!

Rivetmike

[aspex]

I wish someone would give me a roll.



joke too obvious even for me!

Rivetmike

Even the baccy one?

[Rivetmike]

That one did not occur to me :)

[aspex]

Yay, I've a cleaner mind than someone :D

[luci]

Its all bollox. Im such a critic.

[mr_trikkle]

you can keep you harry potter now :(

[Blink]

(If) God is a DJ
God is dead and no-one cares
And who's God will fucking save me now?
And so he came and they called him godhead

[mysterious-dr-x]

You ever seen the film Devil's Advocate??
There's this rant Al Pacino does about god....which i feel sums god up BEAUTIFULLY :twisted:

i need to see that film again. had my sister rambling away to me the whole time god damn it.

[Skylizard]

Devils advocate quote classic


Pachino)Who are you carruing all those bricks for anyways? God? Is that it...God? Well I tell ya, let me give you a liitle inside information about God. God like to watch...He's a prankster.Think about it. He give man...INSTINCTS!!He give you this incredible gift and then what does he do, I swear for his own amusement, his own private, cosmic,GAGREEL! He sets the rules in our position. It;s the goof of all time.LOOK, but don't touch...TOUCH, but don't taste...TASTE, don't swallow.HAHA! And while you're jumping from one foot to the next, what is he doing??? He's laughing his sick FCKING ASS OFF! HE'S A TIGHT ASS, HE'S A SADIST!!!HE'S AN ABSANTEE LANDLORD! WORSHIP THAT...NEVER. (Reeves)Beeter to rain in hell than serve in Heaven,,,is that it?(Pachino)Why not? I'm here on the ground with my nose in it since the whole thing began! I've nurtured every sensation man has been inspired to have. I cared about what he wanted and I never judged him. WHY? Because I never rejected him, inspite of all his imperfections...I'M A FAMINEN! I'm a humanist...I rest my case.

[Rivetmike]

And I bet you didn't even need to look that up ;)

Rivetmike

[SP]

Devils advocate quote classic


Pachino)Who are you carruing all those bricks for anyways? God? Is that it...God? Well I tell ya, let me give you a liitle inside information about God. God like to watch...He's a prankster.Think about it. He give man...INSTINCTS!!... .... ... ...I'M A FAMINEN! I'm a humanist...I rest my case.

Humanism: An alternative to religions that believe in a supernatural god and life in a hereafter. Humanists believe that this is the only life of which we have certain knowledge and that we owe it to ourselves and others to make it the best life possible for ourselves and all with whom we share this fragile planet. A belief that when people are free to think for themselves, using reason and knowledge as their tools, they are best able to solve this world's problems. An appreciation of the art, literature, music and crafts that are our heritage from the past and of the creativity that, if nourished, can continuously enrich our lives. Humanism is, in sum, a philosophy of those in love with life. Humanists take responsibility for their own lives and relish the adventure of being part of new discoveries, seeking new knowledge, exploring new options. Instead of finding solace in prefabricated answers to the great questions of life, humanists enjoy the open-endedness of a quest and the freedom of discovery that this entails.

Because science cannot now and probably never will be able to explain the ultimate origin or destiny of the universe, Humanism can include more than atheists and agnostics. The lack of definite answers to these ultimate questions leaves room for reasonable people to hypothesize about the origin of the natural universe and even to hope for some form of life beyond this one. Those persons can be Humanists if they believe that humanity is on its own in this world, and that the lack of valid evidence for an afterlife means that this life should be lived as though it is the only one we have.

[Blink]

Where did that come from SP?

Sounds very hippy-ish.


Peace Man

[SP]

Erm ... the internet!!

[Sin-RazorAngel]

SP
Blinky's a scientist bless him...........
he beleives that love isn't real and it's a chemical imbalance in the brain.......

But i have to say Blink you disppoint me....you never heard of humanism b4?

[Blink]

It is an -ism, not an -ology

So if it isn't Blinkism, or me-ism, I ain't interested

:wink:

[Sin-RazorAngel]

giggles.yeah right you is a softie really n you know it blinky

[denial_os]

You ever seen the film Devil's Advocate??
There's this rant Al Pacino does about god....which i feel sums god up BEAUTIFULLY :twisted:

let me give you a little inside information, about gOd: he's laughin' his sick f**ing ass off. he's a tight ass, he's a sadist...

[SP]

You ever seen the film Devil's Advocate??
There's this rant Al Pacino does about god....which i feel sums god up BEAUTIFULLY :twisted:

let me give you a little inside information, about gOd: he's laughin' his sick f**ing ass off. he's a tight ass, he's a sadist...

Lizard put the whole rant down on the previous page of this thread!!

[Skylizard]

You ever seen the film Devil's Advocate??
There's this rant Al Pacino does about god....which i feel sums god up BEAUTIFULLY :twisted:

let me give you a little inside information, about gOd: he's laughin' his sick f**ing ass off. he's a tight ass, he's a sadist...

Lizard put the whole rant down on the previous page of this thread!!

I was going to say something when i saw it, but thought it was to early to start taking the piss. :twisted:

[Skylizard]

Devils advocate quote classic


Pachino)Who are you carruing all those bricks for anyways? God? Is that it...God? Well I tell ya, let me give you a liitle inside information about God. God like to watch...He's a prankster.Think about it. He give man...INSTINCTS!!He give you this incredible gift and then what does he do, I swear for his own amusement, his own private, cosmic,GAGREEL! He sets the rules in our position. It;s the goof of all time.LOOK, but don't touch...TOUCH, but don't taste...TASTE, don't swallow.HAHA! And while you're jumping from one foot to the next, what is he doing??? He's laughing his sick FCKING ASS OFF! HE'S A TIGHT ASS, HE'S A SADIST!!!HE'S AN ABSANTEE LANDLORD! WORSHIP THAT...NEVER. (Reeves)Beeter to rain in hell than serve in Heaven,,,is that it?(Pachino)Why not? I'm here on the ground with my nose in it since the whole thing began! I've nurtured every sensation man has been inspired to have. I cared about what he wanted and I never judged him. WHY? Because I never rejected him, inspite of all his imperfections...I'M A FAMINEN! I'm a humanist...I rest my case.

And once again this awesome quote rears it's head in a song, this time by X Fusion, brilliant.

[sekrets]

Recently, I've been reading The Bible, and altho I'm not religious, im finding it quite intriguing.
I think that the quite a lot of people are too quick to critisize religions, when in fact they know very little about it. I'm reading the bible so that I can critisize it fairly :)

So far its a load of bollocks.

[Crash_Dark]

Humanism: An alternative to religions that believe in a supernatural god and life in a hereafter. Humanists believe that this is the only life of which we have certain knowledge and that we owe it to ourselves and others to make it the best life possible for ourselves and all with whom we share this fragile planet. A belief that when people are free to think for themselves, using reason and knowledge as their tools, they are best able to solve this world's problems. An appreciation of the art, literature, music and crafts that are our heritage from the past and of the creativity that, if nourished, can continuously enrich our lives. Humanism is, in sum, a philosophy of those in love with life. Humanists take responsibility for their own lives and relish the adventure of being part of new discoveries, seeking new knowledge, exploring new options. Instead of finding solace in prefabricated answers to the great questions of life, humanists enjoy the open-endedness of a quest and the freedom of discovery that this entails.

Because science cannot now and probably never will be able to explain the ultimate origin or destiny of the universe, Humanism can include more than atheists and agnostics. The lack of definite answers to these ultimate questions leaves room for reasonable people to hypothesize about the origin of the natural universe and even to hope for some form of life beyond this one. Those persons can be Humanists if they believe that humanity is on its own in this world, and that the lack of valid evidence for an afterlife means that this life should be lived as though it is the only one we have.

It all sounds pretty reasonable, except for all this being 'in love with life' - that can't be healthy. Surely that has to be an abusive relationship?

I tend to keep a more open mind than to believe that 'humanity is on its own in this world' - we don't and can't know either way, in my view. Either opinion is a matter of faith, and it's faith that I don't have...

[Rivetmike]

What I don't get about all this religion lark is why people are so eager to believe what a story which is about as far fetched as you can get.

If we saw it had happened on the news (bible stories I'm talking about) we would not believe any of it,we would be happier to dismiss it as some kind of political propaganda than a sign that there is hope for us all.I'm of the opinion that people are suggestable and they only practice organised religion as they *need* (possibly because of past misdemeanours,possibly because it makes the world seem a nicer place,who knows?) to feel that there is more to this life.

Was it religion or television that was considered the opiate of the masses?

That was sort of on subject wasn't it? After all this thread is from a while ago :)

Rivetmike

[sekrets]

I agree it does all seem very far fetched..
yes i guess some people just need to think that there is more to life..
there probably is to be honest, but nothing to do with this ficticious nonsense :)