Shit films that suck balls

[Malachi]

I recently had the misfortune of seeing Hard Candy. Do not bother as it's total pus.

http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2006/07/12/hard_candy_060712073235996_wideweb__300x377,1.jpg

One of my all time most hated films is Eraserhead though. It's so fucking dire.

http://sorenta3.free.fr/blog/eraserhead.jpg


What films do you hate?

[ecclecticbb]

What films do you hate?


I hate any and all Tarantino films. Pure j-u-n-k!

[Malachi]

What do you hate the most though?

[ecclecticbb]

What do you hate the most though?

Pulp fiction, of course!

[Setesh]

The worst film I've ever seen is Children of the living dead.

No script, no acting no NOTHING.

[Malachi]

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00005NKSE.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

Look's emotional!

[SP]

I hate any and all Tarantino films. Pure j-u-n-k!

Well, I've just got to dissagree with you there!! ... Tarantino has certainly entertained me ... loads.

[ecclecticbb]

Well, I've just got to dissagree with you there!! ... Tarantino has certainly entertained me ... loads.

Fair enough!! I am used to people disagreeing with me regarding his work... The endless discussions and exposure of his..."talent" by those who try to make me change my mind never lead anywhere but them being exhausted...

I have found some people out there with the same views I have. I am not alone!!!:)

I only like one scene in one of his films: The outdoor fight in the snow in Kill Bill one(could not be asked with Kill Bill 2).

[SP]

Well, I wasn't going to try to persuade you to like his stuff. Your views are fair enough!

[ecclecticbb]

Well, I wasn't going to try to persuade you to like his stuff.

I know!!:)

I just get a bit carried away with the Tarantino stuff...

Glad you enjoy what he does!

(But I did think you had better taste!!!!!:p:p:p)

[Guy13]

I think Nature Born Killers is the biggest pile of goat pooh. I saw it once all the way through and vowed never to waste time like that again.

[SP]

I think Nature Born Killers is the biggest pile of goat pooh. I saw it once all the way through and vowed never to waste time like that again.
I still haven't seen that film! ... and if I go by your recommendation, I never will!

[ecclecticbb]

I think Nature Born Killers is the biggest pile of goat pooh. I saw it once all the way through and vowed never to waste time like that again.

Oh, that is another one!!

Thanks for reminding me!

And I got to remember Signs(Saw it on a high speed train, ok!!??) and Frequency as well... Bad. Very.

And sorry guys, but I have to include eXistenZ...:( I knew what would happen from the beginning. My friend gave me a weird look when I said what I thought would happen and I only understood at the end why he just did that face. Predictable is not what I find good films wise.

[star-gazer]

i think all of the children of the corns rate pretty high on the crap o meter but then theres so many out there..this is the kind of thread im going to keep coming back to when i remember yet another dodgy fillm-once you start thinking about it the names just keep coming-like room 101 it just brings out the things everyone tries to forget about!

[Malachi]

i think all of the children of the corns rate pretty high on the crap o meter but then theres so many out there..this is the kind of thread im going to keep coming back to when i remember yet another dodgy fillm-once you start thinking about it the names just keep coming-like room 101 it just brings out the things everyone tries to forget about!

That's what it's here for!


(I actually liked Natural Born Killers by the way.)

[Flux]

I hate any and all Tarantino films. Pure j-u-n-k!

*nods in agreement*

SOOOO overrated. And I agree with you that Pulp Fiction is the worst of his flicks (altho I admit to never having seen or wanting to see Jackie Brown!)

From Dusk Til Dawn was good, but I'm sure that was more Robert Rodriguez than Tarantino :p

And as for Kill Bill...meh. The Japanese & Chinese did it soooo much better 15-20 years ago!


Anyway, other films that are shite:

Driller Killer...*yawn!*

Garden State...what a pile of emo wank

Lifeforce...space vampires indeed. Couldn't even be saved by the fact that the leading lady spends most of the movie topless.

The Ice Cream Man...quite possibly THE most pointless film ever. This is B-Movie horror at it's lowest.

[soso]

Walking down the street on the way to work this morning, a double-decker bus advertising the latest Action/Horror-flick starring Wesley Snipes. It's called "Snakes on a plane"!!!

WTF?????

I personally offer a sack of gold to anyone daring to watch it....

[Malachi]

Driller Killer...*yawn!*

Oh totally! Utter pile of shit!

[SP]

What about "The Postman" ... that is a shockingly bad film!

[amax]

Yeah!! And what about Water World?? Uber shite!!

[Crash_Dark]

Apparently they wanted to change the title, but Wesley Snipes said he wouldn't be in it if they did.

There's a challenge there though...can it actually be as dire as it sounds? I vote for someone else to find out...


Walking down the street on the way to work this morning, a double-decker bus advertising the latest Action/Horror-flick starring Wesley Snipes. It's called "Snakes on a plane"!!!

WTF?????

I personally offer a sack of gold to anyone daring to watch it....

[Flux]

Lol. I think you'll find it's Samuel L Jackson who stars in Snakes On A Plane, not Wesley Snipes ;) (and subsequently Samuel who complained when they wanted to change the title...see below)

This film looks so bad that it should be great, hence why the SMASHBOX CORE be anticipating this one (might have to catch it at the cinema for added nonsense!)

Check the synopsis: http://imdb.com/title/tt0417148/

Here's the thing about Sammy boy making a fuss over the title:


Here's what Samuel L. Jackson had to say about the idea the producers had to change the title of the film he's starring in, Snakes On A Plane:
"They had already changed the title when I got to Canada to start shooting. I let it go for a while. Then one day all the producers were standing there, and I'm saying, "So are you seriously going to leave this name like this?" And they're going, "Yeah, we don't want to give too much away to the audience." I'm like, "Yeah you do. That's the way you get them in here. Nobody wants to see Pacific Air Flight 121. People want to see Snakes on a Plane." When I picked up the script and I saw the title, I didn't even read it and I said, "I want to do it." You know, before I opened the first page, Snakes on a Plane. If this is what I think it is, I want to be in this. I want to be on a plane full of poisonous snakes. And I want to see other people on a plane full of poisonous snakes. You say Snakes on a Plane, people who don't like snakes are intrigued. The people who don't like to fly are intrigued. The people who don't like both are totally terrified now. People who just like seeing mayhem are ready for that. They want to see, you know, people enclosed in a big tin tube getting attacked by poisonous snakes. Come on! What could be more exciting than that, you know? What do you do? What do you do until the plane lands? Come on, Snakes on a Plane, that's the title."

[Crash_Dark]

Lol. I think you'll find it's Samuel L Jackson who stars in Snakes On A Plane, not Wesley Snipes ;) (and subsequently Samuel who complained when they wanted to change the title...see below)


Duh! Actually I knew it was Samuel L. Jackson....but my fingers typed Wesley Snipes. Bad fingers!

[toxygenie]

Blair Witch Project is pretty much the only movie I completely and utterly regret not switching off.

[Malachi]

Well all black people look the same innit.

http://www.askmen.com/men/entertainment_150/pictures_150/wesley_snipes/wesley_snipes_150.JPG

http://img.mtv3.fi/mn_kuvat/mtv3/viihde/henkilot_ja_yhtyeet/ulkomaalaiset/341384.jpg

http://www.shayesaintjohn.com/micheal-jackson-4-bree.jpg

Or not...

[Malachi]

Blair Witch Project is pretty much the only movie I completely and utterly regret not switching off.
Oh too fucking tr0o0o0o0!

UTTER SHITPANK!

[SP]

Oh too fucking tr0o0o0o0!

UTTER SHITPANK!
Aight ... 'tis log!!

[snailzoo]

has anyone seen a film with matthew modine and claudia schiffer, i think it's called the blackout, and blacking out or even having a stroke is better than watching it. it is diabolical!

has anyone been brave/stupid enough to watch snakes on a plane and was it just tripe or was actually any good?

no one has mentioned titanic, did you all like it?

[Flux]

has anyone been brave/stupid enough to watch snakes on a plane and was it just tripe or was actually any good?

Gonna see it soon...from what I've been hearing it's meant to be great fun! :D

[fad]

The title 'snakes on a plane' is actually the tip of a rather cunning media savvy marketing ploy which is working admirably in that you lot are discussing it. Someone out there is laughing their tits off about having conned the world in to discussing a film that would otherwise have probably just gone straight to 'video' worldwide.
And speaking of internet/media marketing ploys I personally thought Blair Witch was brilliant and as I'm older, and wiser, (and you like going to the Slime), I think you'll find I'm right and all the rest of you are wrong.
AND one more bad word about mr 'T' and Ozzie's going to get medieval on yer ass....if I ask him nicely.
If you want to talk about shite, predictable films why look any further than M. Night Shamalamadingdong's The Village. Anyone who didn't guess the 'twist' at the end BEFORE they actually entered the cinema is officially a moron....and that's apparently a scientifically provable fact, as evinced by the quote from New scientist I have made up and pasted below;

'Scientists have recently discovered an indisputable connection between enjoying the later films of M.Night Shalamayan and being a complete "fucking moron", it was reported today. It was further conclusively proven that the first person to dispute this fact through the medium of the internet is a 'cock'!''

There ya go.....can't argue with the facts!!!

[fad]

PS
Well all black people look the same innit.
You're dead right there!! When I had a black girlfriend (who's name I withhold cos it'd mean nothing to anyone but SP and Flux et al) I kept waking up in bed with Mike Tyson!!! How we'd laugh about it!!..........just before he'd flip me over and....................

[Flux]

PS

You're dead right there!! When I had a black girlfriend (who's name I withhold cos it'd mean nothing to anyone but SP) I kept waking up in bed with Mike Tyson!!! How we'd laugh about it!!..........just before he'd flip me over and....................

Psh, how easy you forget those who remember said lady :rolleyes:

;)

[fad]

See what I did there huh? Huh?

[Flux]

Lol...spooky! ;)

[Guy13]

PS

You're dead right there!! When I had a black girlfriend (who's name I withhold cos it'd mean nothing to anyone but SP and Flux et al) I kept waking up in bed with Mike Tyson!!! How we'd laugh about it!!..........just before he'd flip me over and....................

....well, go on...she flipped you over and? ;)

[DerOberst]

PS

You're dead right there!! When I had a black girlfriend (who's name I withhold cos it'd mean nothing to anyone but SP and Flux et al) I kept waking up in bed with Mike Tyson!!! How we'd laugh about it!!..........just before he'd flip me over and....................

BWAHAHAHA!!I just spat my tea everywhere reading that!!I cannot add to that in anyway!!!(apart from the shameless false teeth incident!!!)

[alicia_ahh]

bibi: i'm with you regarding tarantino. i can watch his films, but given the choice between that &, say, colonic irrigation, i know which i'd prefer. ;)

anyway...

lake placid was dreadful, audition was disappointing (sadly - i love japanese cinema & thought it'd be ace) & just about every brit-gangster flick made from the mid-90s onwards turns my stomach. oh, & that shitty one about violent west ham supporters (the firm?). in fact, any film that involves cockney wideboy hardmen-types as so often portrayed by vinnie "twat" jones.:mad:

hmm... then there's texas chainsaw massacre 4 ("return of the texas chainsaw massacre"). i'm a big texas chainsaw fan, but i thought it was even more dire than 2 & 3 - which is no small feat.

also, anything with nick nolte i'm afraid - he just creeps me out.:eek:

jesus, i could go on for days with this list... :rolleyes:

[Zesty]

http://omghi2u.co.uk/img/zombierave.jpg

Hmmm...

[Flux]

:lol: Smashing! You know that's gonna be rubbish...could be worthy of a watch tho for us B-movie afficionados ;)

I've seen the Return Of The Living Dead 4 - Necropolis...wasn't as good as the first three (number three of course being the best...nothing to do with the sexy zombie chick, nah uh ;))

[ecclecticbb]

Jerry MacGuire. Boring, pointless, stupid.

Why on earth did I watch the film in the first place????

Oh, I remember, cos my flatmate at the time was watching it and I was sitting in the giant bean bag without being able to move.

Not a good excuse, is it?

[Malachi]

http://omghi2u.co.uk/img/zombierave.jpg

Hmmm...

Hey fuck you! Rave to the Grave is gonna fucking RULE!

Can't wait for Necropolis too!

http://www.returnofthelivingdead4and5.com/

[Flux]

Hey fuck you! Rave to the Grave is gonna fucking RULE!

Can't wait for Necropolis too!

http://www.returnofthelivingdead4and5.com/

Necropolis is pony compared to the first three RotLD movies...it's still a giggle in a massachistic kinda way...but there's NO plot, NO continuity and NO logic whatsoever!

Wait for the scenes where suddenly, all the zombies that had just escaped in the underbelly of Necropolis are outside the building on the ground floor...it's stoopid (oh, and the two coolest zombies in the movie...so underused! :()

[Flux]

Hostel...What a complete waste of time! Boring, lame, shite...all of these can be used to describe this movie. Even the "gore" was piss poor. Utter shite.

[Malachi]

Necropolis is pony compared to the first three RotLD movies...it's still a giggle in a massachistic kinda way...but there's NO plot, NO continuity and NO logic whatsoever!

Wait for the scenes where suddenly, all the zombies that had just escaped in the underbelly of Necropolis are outside the building on the ground floor...it's stoopid (oh, and the two coolest zombies in the movie...so underused! :()

Shit it's out? wah!

[Flux]

Aye, tis out in the States...been out a fair while now.

[kallis]

its wicked!!!

[Flux]

its wicked!!!

What is??

Necropolis?

Hostel?

Your two word posts? ;)

[Jesusbuiltmyhotrod]

The Descent, I really wanted to enjoy this, a Brit director, a possible maniac within a dark and oppressive cave, what more could you ask for....then it goes and gets silly, those creatures didn't half make me laugh.:eek:

[Flux]

Aye, I agree with you there. Tell you one thing tho, that film made me realise just how much I never wanna go potholing! (and no, that's not because of the silly monsters ;))

[ecclecticbb]

Yesterday I remembered one of my most hated films of all times. It competes badly with some others in the top of the my list of crap films.

Dancing in the Dark by and with... Bjork.

Just a cheap and easy drama(it reaches nearly the status of comedy so bad it is) with a very poor story and a plain acting.

An excuse for Bjork to dip into cinema to show off some "originality"in the music she"performs" in the film.

Well, I do not like Bjork particularly already except for a handful of songs and I hate that she is considered as the Queen of Trip Hop when she is just an opportunist to my eyes.

Yes, that is another story, I know...

[Satan's lil helper]

I remember going to the cinema with my dad & being a teen that was kind of boring every week anyway but I guess he couldn't think of anything else to do. His worst crime though was when he took me to see "Michael" in which John Travolta is a drunken slob who is supposed to be an angel.Worst film in the history of films.........I would rather watch a fishing programme than sit through that ever again!

[Satan's lil helper]

Oh & back to "Natural Born Killers" What's not to love? It's fabulous

[Fairy Hag]

I think the worst Zombie flick I've ever seen is House of the Dead the first film based on the awesome arcade game.

It's absolutely shocking and not in a good way.

Shit script, shit plot, shit acting, just shit shit shit.....

[ecclecticbb]

Ok, so yesterday my flatmate went:"Fancy watching a film?"

The answer was yes, no matter what but then, aaaaaarrrrrghhh! His choice was... Kill... Bill... 2...:(

Tarantinononononono... OMFG!

Bad luck, yeah?!

So this..."film" is slightly better than KB1 but still bad as bad shit. The moments that were meant to be full of dramatism, there I was, laughing like an idiot to the screen and in the eternal meaningless dialogues I was like, so what is this film about? Does it pretend to be The Exorcist 2 without its obvious goodness?

Rubbish and king of rubbish, that is. I must admit I have seen worse from Tarantino, but that is not difficult for him to do worse anyway...

I mean, Uma Thurman's hand coming out victorious from the grave was just hilarious!!!! You name it, it is crap from nearly every side.

Rant over(as you like to say)!;)

[SP]

Bibi, you've completely missed the point of a great film IMHO.

[BaronSamedi]

Ok, so yesterday my flatmate went:"Fancy watching a film?"

The answer was yes, no matter what but then, aaaaaarrrrrghhh! His choice was... Kill... Bill... 2...:(

Tarantinononononono... OMFG!

Bad luck, yeah?!

So this..."film" is slightly better than KB1 but still bad as bad shit. The moments that were meant to be full of dramatism, there I was, laughing like an idiot to the screen and in the eternal meaningless dialogues I was like, so what is this film about? Does it pretend to be The Exorcist 2 without its obvious goodness?

Rubbish and king of rubbish, that is. I must admit I have seen worse from Tarantino, but that is not difficult for him to do worse anyway...

I mean, Uma Thurman's hand coming out victorious from the grave was just hilarious!!!! You name it, it is crap from nearly every side.

Rant over(as you like to say)!;)

I quite like Kill Bill, at least it makes no pretence at being anything other than a silly martial arts film. In that respect it's head & shoulders above crouching tiger etc which are "art" because they've put a filter over the lens.

What really bugs me however about Kill Bill is the swordfighting, which frankly is crap. It would take no more than ten minutes to teach someone to kill Uma Thurman.

Ok I know it's theatrical swordplay but they might have made some sort of effort.

[ecclecticbb]

Phil, I think I miss the point of Tarantino all together...

PS: Funny how I knew you would answer that from the moment I finished the post...!! :) ;)

Honest!

Weird...

[Flux]

I've said it before, and I'll say it again...Kill Bill is a poor man's Hong Kong flick. The films that Tarantinonono (hehe, I like that ;)) based it on are much better imho (see the Babycart & Lady Snowblood flicks for a start!)

[ecclecticbb]

I've said it before, and I'll say it again...Kill Bill is a poor man's Hong Kong flick. The films that Tarantinonono (hehe, I like that ;)) based it on are much better imho (see the Babycart & Lady Snowblood flicks for a start!)

O'course!

I know the guy loves Asian cinema and he thinks he can do the same, but he forgets one thing: He is not Asian.

Further more, I seriously doubt he understand Asian concepts.

And you know what...?? I think he believes he was Asian in a past life, but I am pretty sure he wasn't!!;):p

[SP]

I've said it before, and I'll say it again...Kill Bill is a poor man's Hong Kong flick. The films that Tarantinonono (hehe, I like that ;)) based it on are much better imho (see the Babycart & Lady Snowblood flicks for a start!)

Personnally, I don't find myself drawn to watch the Hong Kong flicks really, but the stylism of Tarantulino drags me right in!!

[ecclecticbb]

Tarantulino

I love it!!:)

[Dr_absinthe]

Hmm, The Lair Of The White Worm was pretty apalling. Errr 2 Fast 2 Furious... that licked balls!

[Alexander]

Malachi, you'll never be a proper Goth until you like Eraserhead!